Catching Up

It appears that I now have about 5 different posts that I have started but have not had the time to finish.  I get thoughts and start to put them into words and often it's on my blogger app on my phone but it's hard to write on my phone so I end up saving them thinking I will get back to them and obviously we can see that doesn't happen so I thought today I'm going to summarize them into one post or else it will drive me crazy!
In no particular order....

My son's surgery was over  two weeks ago.  He is 6.  It went great!  Without getting into great detail let's just say it was full open heart surgery (a valve replacement), it was his second, and he did amazing.  It was a very stressful week in the hospital but all in all there were no complications and we made it home in less than a week.  I was home with him all last week as well.  I had to return to work this week and that has been rather stressful since I work for the devil herself but he is still home healing for a few more weeks but nonetheless is doing great!  Thanks for all of the kind words and well wishes!!

I have not had any good action in weeks!  I often joke with a girlfriend of mine about how when we don't get enough sex we need our pussy pissy buttons reset.  Well mine needs a complete overhaul.
Things had been going great with all of my male friends lately and then the week before surgery my selfish stressed out body decided to have an outbreak.  It was my first one in a very long time!  I had made tentative plans with both L and C for that week.  I let C know that it was not looking like it would be worth it for him to come all the way to me and get a room just for some making out and a blow job.  He did consider but we decided to just hold off.  L of course was working right in my neighborhood so on Wednesday I picked him up at lunchtime at the job site and we had intended to get a room for a few hours nearby but again I didn't much see the point in getting a room so we decided to have lunch and then we found a nice secluded place to park and I gave him a blow job.  Interesting enough he pulled out his camera and took a few pictures and a video- this seems to be popular lately!  Since it was a short video he was able to text it to me and for the first time ever I got to watch myself on video.  It was interesting and actually pretty damn HOT!  I was like.. yea that's right, you suck that cock good girl! LOL
On Friday morning I had to take my little guy for a short dr. appt before work.  After I dropped him at school I ran home to get some work done before I had to go into the office to have a big meeting with my boss and I get a text message from J.  I have not been talking with J a whole lot lately.  He texts me here and there always hoping for one of our lovely lunch time meetings but I have been so busy with work and preoccupied with others that we have not been together in months.  Well apparently I had forgotten that I mentioned that Friday at lunch might be a possibility. Well he didn't forget.  So I decided to just be honest and tell him I was just getting over a little OB and it probably wasn't a great idea unless he wanted to slap my face with his cock and let me make him cum in my mouth!  He was actually very sweet and said we should just wait cause he doesn't want to be selfish and wants to make me cum terribly.  I told him it would easily be two weeks or more and I had the time and since he was so sweet it immediately made me horny so we agreed to meet in one of our usual spots.
I got there first.  It's a restaurant parking lot but there is an area in the back that is somewhat private but J and I have never been used to much privacy and sometimes I think we both enjoy pushing some limits.
When he showed up he was all smiles!  I walked around to his side of the car and he grabbed me and pushed up against the car and started kissing me!  He kisses hard and with so much want in him.  He is starting to really enjoy the forceful side of things.  He grabbed and touched me everywhere.  Pulled my dress down so he could take my nipples in his mouth.  Told me how badly he wanted to bend me over right there. Since that was not in the cards for the afternoon I started undoing his pants while we were kissing.  I pulled his already very hard cock out and squatted down right there and took him into my mouth.  I sucked him a few times and then looked up at him.  He took his cock in his hands and rubbed it all over my lips, and slapped it across my lips a few times.  Since we were standing outside in the middle of the day we started hearing voices so we decided it best to move into the car.  I finished him off and we settled in to talk and catch up for a bit.  All of a sudden he said remember I sent you a text a week or so ago about a big plan I had for you.  I said yes, are you going to tell me what your plan was?  He said look down by the door.  In the little storage compartment was a large piece of soft rope.  He then leaned over and took the rope and started to wrap it around my wrists as he told me in step by step detail what he plans to do to me.  I'm not going to tell just in case we ever get the chance to do it... it will make a great story.  So we said our goodbye's and that was that!
I did get one really good fuck Sunday morning from the hubby before all the craziness started with surgery, etc.
During the week of surgery I received several kind emails from my "friends".  Making sure everything went well, we were all okay, etc.  C even tried to work it out to meet me one night in the parking garage for a quickie and it was a sweet thought but I knew it was not where my head was at.  I was very focused on my family as I needed to be.  The week coming home was a time for me to have a small child in my bed every night and a thoughtful husband making sure whatever we needed was taken care of so we could both rest and I could focus on him healing and he would sleep on the couch or in the kids room.  As that week started to come to a close I felt myself getting frustrated and pissy.  I realized that I had not really left the house or done anything for myself in weeks and I was starting to PMS.  I decided I needed some attention.  I asked my mom to come over for a few hours to give me a break so I could run some errands.  I thought I had made plans with L but as the day wore on he got busy and it just never worked out.  Then my monthly visitor came about 4 days early.  I couldn't get a break for the life of me.  Hubby had said he was going to take good care of me over the weekend and he feel asleep after a fun filled day of golfing and it didn't happen, the next day I started.  :(  I also seem to be in a slump with L.  I told him he seemed distant, he said he knows I'm going through a lot and wanted to give me space but thinks about me everyday.  You certainly couldn't tell!  Anyway, he is single and deserves to do whatever makes him happy!  I am and will always be an action speaks louder than words lady!
This week I went back to work.  I knew it would be a tough week and I was right!  My boss is seriously  a horrible person! I don't know if I will ever get over leaving a really great job to work for a narcissistic, controlling cunt!  Yep I said it, she is!
So in all of the craziness of life, lack of attention I found myself perusing the Internet.  The next thing I know I'm on Ashley Madison (which it has been over 2 years since I've even looked on there).  I whip up a quick profile so I can look around and I'm always amazed at what is out there.  I've always been really good at putting together a decent profile on sites so I just simply laid it all out there.  I explained that I know what I like and what I want.  I've had many different types of lovers but lately have been feeling like I'm missing something and want more.  I tell about my past on AM, and I give full disclosure about my HSV.  I knew it would be a long shot but figured who knows.
Let's just say that I have been pleasantly overwhelmed by the response I've gotten.  I'm almost a little taken back as I didn't really expect it.  Outside of J and one other I really haven't been with anyone that doesn't have it.  It's not that I'm not open to having a lover without it but it does make me think much harder about my sexual partners.  These are almost all married men having affairs.  There have been a few extremely attractive singles I've chatted with but that has never been my preference.  I'm allowing myself to be picky and have only given my private email to a few and have been chatting with them.  I've offered my private key to many on the site but I'm already feeling like I'm in over my head!
I will be seeing C sometime this week and to say I'm excited would be an understatement.  He brought to my attention that sometime later this month will be out 1 year anniversary.  Neither of us can remember the exact date but he sure did say some pretty sweet things about me and never dreaming he'd meet the woman that would change his sex life forever.
L is texting me daily in hopes of us finding some time soon and J thinks he's going to coax me into letting him use that rope on my sometime soon.  Now I have a few new gentleman all very worth the time it seems looking to have a possible meet and greet sometime soon!
I may have found myself a predicament.  You see this is what happens to attention whores!  We get ourselves in over our heads.
All I really want is one man... well my hubby and one man.... one other man that can take me to a place sexually that all of them combined have not taken me.  All of them wrapped up into one man plus a little  more.  Someone that will be my friend, give me attention in and out of the bedroom, long for my touches, make me long for theirs, and own my body like no one ever has!  Too much to ask for?  Probably!  I can't help but wonder if one of these men I've been chatting with could be that man... should I shut it down now and be happy with what I have or take my chances and see what else is out there?
I have not told my BF yet.  she will be the one to talk some sense into me... or NOT.  I told her we needed to get together as I had some purging I needed to do.  Her response... Should I bring my Rolodex, lol.  I said we should probably have a few drinks for sure!
Maybe it will be a very interesting week. I know one thing is certain.  My pussy will be getting some seriously needed attention this week!
I should be back with something good by next weekend!
Have a good week everyone!

Last weeks trifecta (is there a quadfecta)?

Although I'm insanely busy with work and I truly have been trying to stay somewhat focused lately I'm still me and I still make time for the ones that truly matter.  Lately that is C, L and hubby (strange but true).

Things with C have been different this time around.  I have kind of backed down a little from him and let him take the lead and this has surely been working to my advantage.  After our last encounter together I sent him an email just basically saying thanks and how much I enjoyed myself.  He replied a day or so later and said the usual... it was the best, it felt so good to be inside me, etc.  Well that was on a Friday and I knew he would be with the girlfriend all weekend so I didn't reply back.  On Sunday he emailed me about his weekend and asked if I had received his message cause he didn't hear back from me and he had such a great time.  Ha... I like that!  Of course I replied and told him how great he was, etc. and just said I was busy and knew he was away for the weekend.  So he wanted to know when we could get together again.  So we decided on Wednesday, only his son was home so he decided to sneak me into his basement while his son was asleep upstairs.  He's a teenager so he stays up most of the night and sleeps all day.
WEDNESDAY: So he picked me up in a parking lot near his house and I hopped in.  I have to say I was really nervous for some reason!  Him being daring is also not his nature!  Kinda funny, when we pulled into the neighborhood I slipped down into my seat and this time he covered me with a blanket.  That was a first but it didn't bother me at all.  I think it's kind of funny the lengths we all go for some of our fun!  So after he closed the garage door, he went in and checked everything out and then we went right down into the basement.  So the people that lived there before the husband had built a recording studio down there so there is this room with two sets of doors that leads into another room with the sound proof walls and then that leads into another room.  It's very cool!  Anyway, when we walked in he had put this inflatable couch that makes into a bed and he had it all set up with pillows and blankets and the lights were all dimmed.  It was nice!  C wastes no time with me.  He immediately had me stripped down on the bed.  I know I've said it before but I'll say it again, I love the effect I have on this man.  I love that when I kiss him and take his pants off he is always rock hard for me!!  We have fallen into a pattern it seems.  This is good and bad!  It's good because he is so amazing and I know that even though it will go the same way every time with very little being different I know that he will satisfy me over and over until I'm begging him to stop!
This time was no different until it was his turn.  He asked me if I would mind if he recorded us having anal or him cumming in my mouth.  I told him that was fine.  We tried anal first.  Funny thing about anal is that it always hurts a little at first but I can always take it but we had no lube and for some reason my ass was just not into it.  He tried and tried all the while his phone trying to record it but it was just not going to happen this time!  So we switched and he stood up with his camera on record and I got down on my knees and did what he loves me to do!  I wet my finger and slid it ever so gently in his ass (after I got it nice and wet with my mouth) and began to suck and lick his cock like my favorite stick of candy!  I love that I can take all of him in my mouth.  He took the back of my hair in his hands and guided me up and down his shaft.  He would tell me to look at the camera with his cock in his mouth.  When he was ready to cum he pulled me off and stroked himself a few times and then he came all over my face and my mouth.  It was excellent.  He shot it everywhere.  In my hair, eyelashes, up my nose, and down my throat.  I'm sure it made for a great video moment.  Then like the good girl I am, I wiped as much of it off of my face and licked my fingers clean.  I wanted to watch the video but I didn't get to- YET!  He said it was great and he loves it but I would like to see it myself although I'm sure I would just critique it!  I'm so critical of myself!  That is the first time I've ever had anyone record me!  Shortly after we cleaned up we tipped toed out and he took me back to my car.  Other than an email telling me I'm the best I have not heard from him since although I know the girlfriend was moving here this weekend.  I know we will not see each other as often but right now I'm good with that and I will continue to enjoy him when he's mine and not worry about the rest!

THURSDAY: I headed out to my morning appointment and I knew that L was not to far working.  He stays in pretty good contact day to day, sometimes to much contact but we had discussed meeting up for a bit if our schedules allowed.  Well he started texting just before lunch.  I still had a few things to do and then he got a flat so we decided to chat again in an hour.  So a bit later he checks with me and says he will meet me at a little corner bar down the road in 15 minutes.  So I freshen up, remove my panties and meet him in the parking lot.  As soon as I get out of my car he grabs me, pushes me into my car and starts to kiss me.  He tells me how sexy I am and then takes my hand and puts it on his rock hard cock and tells me that is what I do to him every time he's near me or thinks of me!  So I take his hand and place it up my dress and between my legs and run his fingers across my now soaking wet pussy and remind him that's what he does to me when we are together or when I think of him!!  So we head into the bar.  Now truthfully folks I was thinking we might grab a cheap room for a few hours as I could have used some 1:1 with him but maybe that is for another day.  So we headed inside and everyone that was there was sitting at the bar so we found a little table in the corner.  He ordered us a few beers and I headed to the ladies room.  When I came back out there was a beer and a shot sitting in front of me.  We did the shot, ordered some food and I drank my beer.  So L is very touchy feely and he loves that I don't wear panties as he loves to run his hands up and between my legs, especially in public places.  I of course, love letting him!  We eat, we chat, we kiss, we touch, we do another shot, and he orders us another beer.  I drink my drinks while he tells me how much he likes me.  I like how much he likes me! I didn't think I would like him this much but I do!  I think he's super sexy even though he's not my normal type (who needs a type), I like how sexy he makes me feel!  I like knowing that he thinks about me and fantasizes about me!  I like the way he kisses me and touches me when we are together and makes me feel like I'm the only girl in the room!  What girl doesn't like all that-RIGHT!  Trust me, I'm not getting all mushy over him I'm just recognizing that, well, maybe he's kinda special right now!  So after two beers and two shots in the middle of the day I'm now super horny and ready for some action!  So we leave, hop in his car and start driving.  I'm instantly climbing over the middle console (whoever invented those obviously didn't get much car action- hate them) and I'm trying to get between his legs.  This made him no longer care where we were going, he just found a spot.  Not a great spot but it was a spot.  So I continue to find my spot between his legs and quickly he grabs the back of my hair and we are in business!  He has a great cock too!  Different but nonetheless great and it's super beautiful.  Nice shape, no bends/curves, nothing!  Such a pretty penis! :)  Now L does not cum easily from oral.  He tends to like to cum during sex but today I was going to have my reward in my mouth.  He likes dirty talk and that gets him off.  So with his cock in my mouth I look up and smile and tell him how much I love to suck his cock... how good it feels in my mouth... how much I want to feel him cum in my mouth... how I liked the way he held my hair... and with that it took about another 10 seconds before I earned my reward!!  Then for being such a good girl I received another reward... his mouth devouring my pussy!  I was super hot and all worked up so it only took about 2 minutes before I had his head in a lock between my thighs squealing in delight!  He wouldn't stop, and he told me his cock was already hard again so I decided it was time to feel him inside me.  I climbed on top of him and rode him very slow.  I enjoyed how good he felt inside of me and since I had just cum I was very sensitive inside and he was hitting me in all the right places.  Now that I know how much he enjoys hearing a woman talk to him (not necessarily dirty but sexy) I have been using this to my advantage!  So we are both just taking our time and I'm kissing him and whispering in his ear how good he feels inside me, and how much I love riding him and we start to pick up our pace together and I tell him I'm going to cum again and how much I want him to cum inside me.... and then... we came... together!  That just happens so rarely with me.  I can probably count on one hand how many times that has worked out for me!  Well it did that day and it was GOOD!  I must say that although car sex is not my favorite... the way things are with L lately he is definitely quickly becoming my favorite!  We seem to fit together well!  So after all that he took me back to my car, made out a bit longer and then went our separate ways.  Although at that point I was pretty much useless for work so I went home and took a nap as I had the back to school picnic later that night!

Okay, moving forward.... that ends my delicious lovers stories... for some reason the stories with the hubby just don't have that same zest and appeal as my others!  But I will say this... he has been exceptionally good lately, and I don't just mean staying out of trouble cause truthfully I haven't been looking at his shit much lately but trust me I can tell from the little I pay attention that he has been good!!  He has been thoughtful, and helpful, and even kind!  These are the things that help me to love him and appreciate him.  When we get along we really do have a great relationship and the only reason I have stayed this long is always because I hold out for these moments!  Also when he acts this way it makes me want to give myself to him!  So...
FRIDAY:  We had a good night, things were going well and we had a nice evening.  We decided to go to bed together and we were laying in bed watching tv and I started to rub his back, then scratch and tickle his back, then kissing his back, and then moving my way down.  One thing led to another and I told him that I wanted him to take my ass tonight!  There is nothing my hubby loves more than to have my ass and I wanted it equally as bad that night!  He not only took it but he TOOK it in every way possible, and I came folks, like top 3 orgasms in my history on Friday night!!
It was so good Friday that I decided to give him more on Saturday and then on Sunday I even decided to give him a free no return necessary blow job!  See how nice I can be.

So all in all last week and this past weekend was not so bad!  I say all of this and I write all of this because it helps me keep some perspective.  Life is stressful!  Work is stressful!  Dealing with my 6 year old about to have open heart surgery in two weeks is STRESSFUL!  The truth of the matter is that as I'm preparing myself and my family to go through this surgery I find myself starting to slowly check out.  I withdrawal a bit from everything and everyone.  I start to deal with my stress on an inner basis.  I'm usually really good at keeping up and dealing with my life and everyone else's as well and life stress and everything just goes along with it.  We all lean on each other but this is different for me.  I wish I could just take the next month off from everything except for dealing with my family and keeping us all safe and healthy and getting through the first 3 days after surgery which are the hardest!  I wake up everyday and for the most part go through the same routine.  I'm lucky to have such great friends and family but now my days are changing.  I'm tired, and in my moments alone instead of wanting to talk to a friend, or text a lover or whatever I typically do for myself, I find myself alone with my thoughts.  Not wanting to do my normal things but instead I am living inside my head.  So I won't ruin a great sex post with my inner head issues today!  I've still got two weeks from today before surgery so maybe I will write an entire post about something not sex related.  That is unless something better sex related happens first!  We shall see!!

Oh I've got a few good stories!!

I swear I truly intend to write often but lately everything seems to get the best of me.  I don't talk a whole lot about my "real" personal life but my youngest son has a heart condition and we are quickly approaching his next open hear surgery and to top it off he landed in the hospital last week needing an emergency appendectomy.  Poor little guy can't seem to catch a break!  I of course spent the entire week with him sleeping on a window seat.  I also am still only one month into my new job that I am NOT loving.  So when I'm not taking care of kids or working 60 hours week or dealing with my douche bag husband of course I'm trying to fit in some time with a lover (or two or three).

So in my last post I talked about my upcoming date with L.  I'm going to skip much about that story so I can get to the good stuff.  Lets just say we had a wonderful "date".  However, we ended up drinking to much, drove around for an hour trying to find a hotel room because there was a fishing tournament in town so by the time we found the room we were both tired and I was tipsy.  So we did our thing but both walked away wanting a re-do!  But again, he is a great guy and makes me feel like the prettiest, sexiest woman alive!  Oh baby, we got our re-do.

Hubby came back from his recent boys weekend and apparently had an epiphany or something.  He seems to want to work this out very much.  Funny thing is that the tables are turning.  Like suddenly I feel bad for him.  He needs me more than I need him.  I mean I know we both need each other but seriously at this point he needs me more.  Maybe I kind of have the upper hand or something.  We are far from good, but I keep giving him chances.  On a good note I asked him to PLEASE change his passwords again on everything and take the power to look away from me.  I feel like what I don't know can't hurt me.  If he read this blog-OMG it would be awful.  I would never want that so why would I want a glimpse into the fucked up shit that he does!  So it's been about two weeks since I've looked at anything and you know what, we have gotten along pretty darn good.  No stupid fights, he's been great, we've had some great sex.  So one day at a time and we will see what happens.  Either way, I am stronger and stronger and I know deep down that if push comes to shove I can and will live without him and be okay!  Right now I choose to let him stay!

Okay good stuff, here we come!  Recently Kitty wrote a post about there being something in the air and all of her lovers coming out of the woodwork.  I love this because it's so true.  I find that once or twice a year I will hear from multiple past, present, etc. lovers.  This can be troublesome for Mrs.M as I love the attention and I can find myself quickly booking short little stints of time with all of them.  This is bad!  This time I only indulged in several fun texting sessions but this gives them hope and then they stick around for awhile.  Anyway, I so easily get side tracked!

So as I mentioned I was stuck in the hospital all week last week and then I had a work function that I had to attend Friday night.  Well one boy had been texting me all week long.  I probably never talked about him before because I never actually hung out with him.  I always wanted to because he has the largest cock I've ever seen and I was always curious to give it a ride- I didn't!  I was thinking about going to see him Friday night but hubby kept texting me and I knew I was likely going out with L again on Saturday.  Somehow, I think because hubby was feeling bad for me for being at the hospital all week, I managed to get him agree to let me go out again on Saturday night.  He thought I was going out with the girls.  L's family was out of town for the entire weekend (he is now technically divorced but they are still living in the same house as a family) so we met at the local pub right down the road from his house.  I wore a cute little black skirt, no undies, and a nice top.  He met me in the parking lot, kissed me and told me how great I looked.  When we got inside he said he wanted to sit somewhere off by ourselves.  So we found a little spot in the corner, ordered drinks and from that point on this man could not keep his hands off me.  He was always rubbing my legs, occasionally his hand would drift further and further up  my skirt.  He loves when I don't wear panties!  It is obvious that he really likes me because he tells me all the time.  I still think he's safe for several reasons.  I know he wants me to stay married cause he wants me as his "girlfriend" but that's all he wants.  He's not looking to get married again or anything to serious.
So anyway, we only stay at the bar for about an hour cause we simply just can't keep our hands off each other.  So as we are heading out, of course, he runs into some folks from his neighborhood, ugh!  He chats, we leave.  I follow him back to his house and we go inside.  I get the quick tour of the house and then we have the genius idea to smoke a little bowl, lol!  So after all of that we have a beer and he sits me up on his kitchen counter.  I wrap my legs around him and we start kissing.  I am telling you the heat between us this night was intense.  There was just this sexual energy.  He runs his hands up my skirt and between my legs and I am so wet!  He loves how wet my pussy gets.  He lays me back on the counter and starts to lick my pussy right there.  After a bit we decide we should just go downstairs to his room so we can be more comfortable.  I'm not going to get into gross detail but I just want to say that we stripped each other down and we had the hottest sex I've ever had for 2 hours.  This man kept his cock hard for me for seriously two hours. He licked me and fucked me, I rode him, he fucked my ass, I sucked him.  He spanked me, and my legs were bent in every position possible.  There were rough moments, gentle & intense moments where he looked me in the eyes, he talked dirty to me, and I to him.  He whispered in my ears, I came six or seven times.  I took excellent pictures of him between my legs.  I have a nice L & MrsM gallery going!!  After he came, we laid there for awhile and had another beer.  After about a half hour he decided he wanted to go again.  He licked me again for awhile, and then I started to suck him hard.  While I was sucking him I noticed that his breathing was changing and his hand on my head was falling off.  I looked up and watched him and then all of sudden... HE SNORED!  yes that's right, he fell asleep/passed out with his cock in my mouth.  I laughed so hard!  I stopped and just watched him for awhile thinking- well this is a first!  So finally I got up and got dressed.  I was going to just let myself out but I didn't want his door to be unlocked all night!  So when I was ready to go I woke him up.  He was startled at first and a little disoriented.  We laughed and he said, "well damn woman, your wore me out"!  It was pretty funny!  so he walked me out, told me how great it was, gave me a nice good night kiss and I left.
So as I get into my car I look at my phone and realize that my husband has been texting me for the past hour.  Sending me dirty pictures and texts and telling me to hurry home!  OH SHIT!
So I text him back that my GF is really drunk and sick and I'm trying to get her under control so we can get home. At this point it's sometime after 1.  He keeps texting me and I'm just hoping I can hold him off til he falls asleep by the time I get home.  So I stop at McD's to get a smoothie and I'm taking my time.  When I get close to home I decide to stop at 7-11 to use the bathroom to freshen up and I'm so nervous I now need a cigarette.  I rarely smoke as I quit over a year ago but every now and I again I will have one.  So as I pull into the parking spot a black jeep pulls up next to me.  As I get out so does a man.  We smile at each other and he says "well hello, where are you going"?  I say, "into the store", he says "well hurry up".  I think this is very strange.  I take my time in the store but when I come out he is leaning up against the hood of my car waiting for me.  He says "so where are you going"?  I tell him I'm heading home for the night.  He asked me where I had been.  I said I don't think you really want to know.  He then says "can I come home with you".  I say "you must be drunk, do you often try and pick up woman in the parking lot of 7-11"?  He says, "no, but you just smiled at me and you are so damn sexy I couldn't help myself".  I laugh and say I'm going home to my husband.  He says "well call him and ask him if I can come too".  I tell him he's crazy.  He says "I just think you have sex written all over your body".  At this point I'm partially annoyed, a little buzzed and ready to fuck with this rather attractive 40ish man.  So I say "baby, I just spent the entire night fucking my boyfriend and now I'm probably going to go home and fuck my husband"!  I think I saw his jaw drop and his cock enlarge!  He says "OMG, I bet your pussy tastes so good".  I said "baby I have the sweetest tasting pussy in the world"!  At this point he starts to get close to me and says "can I taste you".  So I'm in full slut mode now folks!  So I put my fingers up my skirt, between my legs and finger myself with two fingers.  I take one finger and place it in his mouth and then I lick the other!  He's dieing at this point.  So he's like "well that was great but it wasn't what I had in mind.  How about you follow me over to that parking lot and let me make you cum one more time tonight.  Okay, I may be a slut, and flirty but I am not stupid.  I tell him that's not going to happen and I'm mostly just having some fun with him and that I'm ready to go home for the night!  Now he's got me pinned between my car and him.  He's pressing his very hard cock into my leg and he keeps trying to put his hand up my skirt (um yes this is all happening right outside the 7-11).  So I decide to kiss him a little.  We start to kiss, and he says "Your a good little slut, I should just fuck you right here in this parking lot".  At this point I tell him that I can guarantee he will be going home and best case masturbating and thinking about me because nothing is going to happen.  He got a little pushy at one point, enough that the guys in the store came out to make sure everything was okay.  I assured them it was.  So he gave me his card and pretty much begged me to call him so we could get together some time.  He promised me it would be worth my time and he would treat me "proper".  If his kissing is any inclination of his fucking it might be more like a stabbing!  I'm pretty sure I will pass!  Anyway, after about another 10 minutes of begging and a little kissing and touching he finally lets me in my car.  Now I was a little concerned that he was going to follow me so I drove like 5 mph until he finally passed me and then I hauled ass home.
I swear I don't know how I get myself into this shit.  I mean who uses that kind of crazy ass approach and gets laid?  I must admit that I did enjoy messing with him a little.  I'm sure I had some kind of crazy sex pheromones coming off me that night!
Of course when I got home the hubby was still awake!  AHHH!  Thankfully he got tired enough that he went ahead and got himself off so I was off the hook there.  We talked for a bit about my night out with the girls and then went to bed.  However, the next morning he work me up with a nice stiff cock and again with the pheromones I must have been giving off because he fucked me 2 more times that Sunday!  Needless to say all my holes were very sore by Sunday night!
I took a break for Monday and Tuesday but today (Wednesday) was a new day.  I kind of double booked myself today.  I was on L's side of town for work so I picked him up on his job site and we found a little parking lot for some nice heavy petting and making out.  Nobody came but we both had a great time!  I do really like him and I'm very happy with how things are going with him right now!
Then tonight hubby took the boys to a baseball game so I met C-Don Wan at the local motel for a lovely session.  Nothing new to tell with him.  He's just simply an amazing lover, hence the Don Wan.  I am in a great place with him.  I've chilled out and I'm just enjoying any time I have with him and letting him chase me for a change!  He's gorgeous and amazing!  I hope to have him as a lover for a very long time but I will take it one amazing orgasm at a time!
So other than that J, my lunchtime playmate has been hot and heavy texting me for some fun.  We are just trying to make our schedules mesh!  Soon I'm sure but I think I'm good this week!
Definitely no lack of attention or loving going on for this girl!  Truth be told- the amount of stress in my life right now with my job, kid, hubby, etc.  This is the only thing that has been keeping me sane.  That and reading about everybody else's lives as well!  I truly enjoy all of it!!

TGIF- date tonight, my few hours with Don Wan & more trouble at home!

I want to write today but I can't seem to get my thoughts straight and I should be working but  instead I'm reading blogs, writing, and messing around!  I have a date tonight.  Well kind of, no actually its a date.  I'm going out with L.  Hubby is out of town for the weekend (thank goodness) so we have had this planned for a few weeks now.  He is taking me to dinner in a little town half way between both of our homes.  Neither of us wanted to be to close to home so as not to risk running into people we know.  This is one of my biggest fears although pretty soon it isn't going to matter anymore!  So after dinner there are lots of little bars and such so we can park our cars and just walk.  I asked him if he planned to get me drunk and take advantage me.  Trust me he doesn't need to get me drunk.  I'm so ready!  I'm a cheap date, I don't drink much and since I get sick very easily from alcohol it's best not to attempt to get me drunk.  I told him unless he wanted to spend the evening holding my hair as I prayed to the porcelain gods he better watch my intake!  I think after we are going to get a room near by.  I was thinking this was going to just be a nice evening but after talking with him yesterday it appears he is planning on us staying the night together.  This makes me a little nervous.  I like to joke with him so I said "oh we are having a sleep over, so I should bring my pj's and fuzzy slippers, and my tooth brush.   Are you going to spoon me?  Do you snore?"  He said if I wanted to go home I could and I just said we can play it by ear and see how the evening goes.  Knowing me I may sneak out in the middle of the night, lol.  Especially if he snores!!  Actually my dog will be home alone so even if I do sleep over I will have to get up early in the morning and get home.  Truth be told I'm a little nervous about staying the night with him.  This is a guy who has already asked me questions about the "L" word and how I would feel if he was to say it.  I like him and everything but one of the reasons I chose him to spend some time with is because I feel like he's safe.  Safe meaning it's highly unlikely that I will fall for him.  He is so different from my type.  I know that shit happens and I could fall for him but it's highly unlikely! He also texted me last week cause I was a little distant (cause I'm so busy with my new job) and asked if everything was okay, if we were okay.  Are you seeing the red flags?!  Regardless after the week I have had I am looking forward to spending the evening with someone who really likes me, treats me very well and I know is going to make me cum multiple times!!!  I'll let ya know how it goes!

Things around home have been very bad the past few weeks.  I'm really not prepared to spend much time on this subject right now.  Let's just say I think every time we talk about breaking up and then we decide to continue to work on it I get a little bit stronger, I see him more and more for who he really is, and I get closer to being able to move and finally rid myself of him completely.  It is such a complicated issue with him.  What is crazy is that we had a few good weeks.  We were going out, communicating, having lots of good sex, etc.  Then me and the kids got sick, then I had my period and then this week my uncle died and I spent most of my free time with family this week.  So I got up to go to the gym one morning and looked at his phone.  Of course he had talked with someone late one night.  He had a good story for it later but I didn't believe him so later I pulled the phone records up and looked at his calls and texts and found that over the past few weeks he has had multiple conversations with multiple people (woman, men, couples, who knows?).  Of course he immediately blames me for everything.  He says I'm a bitch, I'm not nice to him, I don't give him any attention, my plate is to full.  It is me that drives him to do these things.  Honestly I'm just tired of being blamed for everything and I do mean everything.  He is very manipulative.  He doesn't want to take a look in the mirror and have accountability for anything.  He lies to my face.  He doesn't help me around the house.  He does not take charge of this household or this family.  He forces me to be, the leader and be in control of everything and then hates me for it and blames me for it.  I'm just so sick of it.  So I told him I'm done.  He was mean, said lots of mean things.  Continued to talk to people he shouldn't all day to try and make him feel better about himself.  Now when he gets home if I'm nice at all he will start to like me again, assume I will forgive him, and the process will start over AGAIN.  My intention is to not allow that to happen.  I intend to follow through this time.  I intend to be strong.  If and when I do this he will realize I'm serious and that I have the upper hand on him which will majorly piss him off and so he will get upset, call me lots of horrible names, blame me for everything and then immediately go off of the deep end join every sex site available and begin to spread his wickedness around to anyone willing and able and he will throw it in my face every chance he gets.  I know he will not take the high road and apologize, be sympathetic, apologetic, remorseful or fight for me and this family.  So I will have to deal with his wrath until I either decide to be weak and take him back or until I can get him out of this house.  I pray for the strength to get to the part where he moves out.  If I can do that than I will be okay.  I will be able to get along with him so we can do what's best for our children.  I will no longer be subject to his poison and white trash mentality.  I will be able to focus on my job, my life and my kids!  He has no moral fiber and I need to just be strong and finally do this for myself.  I no longer believe that I will ever be able to trust him or respect him so this is the only thing left to do!  Wish me luck and I will write about it more as I'm able to sort it all out!

So I saved the best for last.  My Don Wan- C.  He moved up here last weekend.  He was over an hour away from me but now he is less than 30 min away from me and in an area where I go for work on a weekly to bi weekly basis.  However, girlfriend will be moving here at the beginning of September :(  He asked me to come to his house as he wanted to Cristin it properly and he wanted to visualize my face and fucking me in every room.  I'm not sure if that's sweet or messed up, lol.  Anyway, we worked it out to meet towards the end of my work day Wednesday.  I parked at a little pizza shop right near his house and he picked me up.  He brought his little dog (her little dog) who is the cutest thing ever.  The dog liked me very much!  It's a little puff ball of fluffy fur.  So soft to touch!  Anyway, we went back to the house and he gave me the grand tour stopping to kiss me in every room.  When he kisses me it's like movie star kiss.  He always takes me by the back of my neck with one hand and then takes the other hand and puts it deep in my hair and pulls me into him and kisses me very deep and very passionate!  It makes me melt!  So the house is pretty empty and they haven't really put much away yet so all he had in his room was a twin mattress on the floor since she is bringing the bed with her move.  So I asked for a minute to freshen up a bit since it was a hot day and I had been running around all day.  When I came out he took me into the bedroom and we started kissing and undressing each other.  One thing I totally love about him is that all we had done was kiss and I had just run my hands down his back and arms and when I moved to take his shorts off his cock was just rock hard!  God I love that!  It is such a turn on to me that he gets that turned on from kissing me.  So he undresses me and puts his fingers between my legs and I was already so very wet and ready for him.  He bends me down over the mattress and his cock slides right into my wet pussy.  God he felt soooo good!  Nice long stokes all the way in and all the way out.  All the way back in and back out.  Very slow.  Now the damn dog was sitting on the bed watching me and kept trying to get in my face to he told the dog to leave.  A few minutes later I feel a tickle on my toes and look down and the damn dog is licking my toes, lol.  It was super funny but then he got rid of the dog!  So then he laid me down the bed and did what he does best!  Lick my pussy!  IF I was told I had one day left on this earth and could have anything I wanted it would be to have him lick my pussy (well maybe not but you get the jest).  He likes to build on it.  He licks me til I cum the first time then he comes up and slides his cock inside me.  He again grabs the back of my neck with one hand and puts the other hand in my hair and kisses me passionately while he fucks me, only it's really more like he's making love to me.  He looks at me in between kisses.  Deep in my eyes.  It makes me crazy.  Then he goes back down.  This time he adds one finger and licks me til I cum again.  Then he comes back up, slides his cock in me and repeats that process again.  Then he goes back down.  This time he licks my ass real good and then goes back to my pussy but this time he puts one finger in my ass and one finger in my pussy and licks me til I cum so hard I laugh or cry!  I'm not kidding.... it's just fucking amazing!!  Then he fucks me a little bit more.  Then I ask very nicely  ... can I please make you cum now!  So he allows me a turn.  I love to lick this man's cock.  It is just perfect!  But it's not just his cock.  I like to spend my time everywhere down there.  I kiss all around him.  I like his inner thighs, til I find my way down to his ass.  I lick his ass really, really good while I sneak a little lube on my finger.  Then I slowly slide one finger in his ass while I suck and lick his balls.  Once I have my finger and moving I take his cock in my mouth and suck and move in unison.  I love that when he cums he squeezes my head with his legs and I love that I can usually feel the first squirt of cum hit the back of my throat.  I bury his cock deep in my throat until he unloads every last drop.  Then I swallow it, and make to sure lick him nice and clean on my way out!  Then we just lay and talk for a bit. We had not seen in each other in a long time so we had a lot to catch up on.  We finally made it downstairs and talked a lot more, kissed, etc.  I often wonder if I leave hubby, if he and I would find a way to give it shot.  I doubt it but I do think he will not like it much when I start dating!  I will not worry about any of that now and just enjoy him while I can!  Shortly after, he took me back to my car, kissed me, told me how much he enjoys his time with me, etc and we went our separate ways.  He did send me a very nice email later which we all know I appreciate and now the girlfriend will be in town all weekend and he can visualize my face in his room while he's fucking her this weekend (evil smile)!  I will see him again next week!  I hope!
So funny enough I could have had a trifecta this week too.  I got a text late last night that JJ was in town.  He had a date with a woman near by and it was an actual date so no lovin for him.  He wanted me to sneak out and when I told him hubby was away he wanted me to sneak him in but I turned him down.  Wasn't really into it.  One, I didn't want to be sloppy seconds to his awesome date; two, I had just had a great time with C the day before; three, I am seeing L tonight.  I like JJ as a friend and think we will talk for years to come and I might hang out with him again but he's a better friend than lover and I've got about all I can handle right now!  I also get texted from J on a weekly basis wanting to have some lunch time fun but again I've been avoiding any plans with him as well.  So I am going to have a kid free/hubby free weekend.  Date tonight, baby shower tomorrow afternoon and bachlorette party tomorrow night and lots of sleep and paper work to catch up on Sunday but all in all I think it should be a pretty great weekend.  It better be cause I have a feeling between dealing with the stress of my new job and hubby next week I'm going to need to make all my weekends count!  Keep your fingers crossed for me!  Hope everyone has a great weekend and we shall see what more is to come!!

Randoms

This past week I have been doing a lot of thinking about my life!  Here are a few things... in no particular order.....
I have not talked with C in several weeks now.  This is good but it also bums me out!  Secretly I wish he would get in touch with me and beg me to see him but I do not believe that will happen so I will continue to learn to live without him and his amazing skills.  He will always be one of the best lovers I've ever had (until I find someone better, lol) but he will never be able to give me or treat me the way I want!

We were away for the past few weekends out at the lake... with family... when we are at the lake I find that I put my phone away and forget about it.  This is such a nice break because any other time my phone is always on me or within ear shot of me... so when I picked my phone up Sunday to look at it I had two texts from L... The first one said "Did we break up? lol ;)"  Then about a half hour later he said... "I just haven't heard from you in several days and I hope your okay... let me know".  I thought this was very nice... he is very nice.  I have totally blown him off over the last week or so.  We were supposed to get together last week but I got busy and simply didn't make time.  It's funny cause he will treat me the way I want but he's not C so I don't put myself out there as much for him.  I do like him though but I've also been dealing with hubby a lot lately and giving him more of my focus and energy so that is a big part of it.  So I texted him back after we got home last night and apologized for being MIA and said we could chat tomorrow (today).  I'm actually texting him as I write this but nothing exciting.  I don't know that he and I will go much farther.

....... So the last two paragraphs I started over a week ago and a rare form of the plague entered my home- JK... well kinda!  We all came down with a horrible stomach virus and spent the entire week sick!  It was simply horrible!  I hate being sick, I do not like being home bound either.  Last week was also my last week at my old job so thank goodness I was working from home (since I wasn't getting much work done)!  The few meetings I did had were sitting on the toilet, lol!  Anyway, being sick is a good and bad on a marriage.  While I was sick hubby was very kind and sweet.  He helped take care of me and when our youngest came down sick that night, he stayed up with him all night long so that I could sleep.  I appreciate those things about him.  I of course continued to be sick for days after but managed to take care of myself, him, two kids/one sick, and the house.  I enjoy the help when I get it.  We also bickered plenty but mostly because we were tired and irritible.  Thank goodness I managed to get sick at the same time as my period so that helped that week go by so I can get back in the saddle.
I can only handle being home for so many days in a row so I managed to get out to dinner with some girlfriends on Thursday evening and then officially started my job Friday.  Let me tell you, it was a rough day... I had to go to a golf outing... the horror, lol.  Kidding... it was great.  I spent my first day at my new job looking all cute in golf apparel taking pictures of the golfers in the outing, talking, drinking and sitting under an umbrella (cause it was 100 out).  Yesterday was my first Official day.  So I'm on to my next career adventure.  No more overnight travel but still selling- of course.  I'm excited!

I did see L this past weekend to, and I do like him!  He had texted me that his band was playing this weekend.  So one day during the week I had texted him- "what is the name of the place your playing and where"?  His reply was priceless- "I'm playing in your strawberry field and it's in your panties".  He loves my little red mound!
So I did manage to get out to see him.  It was great!  He thought I was coming out Friday night but my girlfriend lamed out on me at the last minute so I was able to convince her to go out Saturday.  My brothers band was playing so we decided to go and see him first- warm up a bit.  So we got to the 1st bar and it ended up he was'nt playing but another band was, he was there of course so we hung out a bit, started drinking, and ended up having a great time there.  By the time we left there it was midnight and as we were driving to the other bar I started to chicken out.  I had never seen him in a public type setting and his bandmates were around and all.  So we got there and it was a bit of a hole in the wall and not very busy so we sat in the parking lot, and contimplated whether or not to go in for about 20 minutes.  She wanted to leave and really so did I but I just knew if we went in we would have a great time! SO WE DID!
As we were walking in I noticed that his band mates were outside (I had seen pics).  As soon as we walked in the door he was standing there in front of the bar.  Talk about deer in headlights.  He was floored when he saw me!  He couldn't believe it!  He was instantly nervous!  It was awkward and the whole wopping 10 people in the place were all eyes on us!  Talk about ackward moment!  So he hugged me, and then grabbed my hair, dipped me down and planted a big ole kiss on me- DAMN HOT! Then he hugged my friend and bought us a beer and shot!  I think once the shock wore off he was giddy that I had come.  Also still nervous, lol!   So he had to go back up on stage for their last set so we just got our drinks and found a place to sit.  It was immediately obvious that the woman in the place were scowling at us and the men were prowling us!  Slowly the men started finding their way in and around our table.  What a blast!  The band was pretty good- a little heavy for me but good!  The men were not all that great but as a first class attention whore it was a very successful evening.  We drank for free all night and my girlfriend got hit on by both men and woman.  She's a smoker so she kept leaving me to go outside with all of our new friends.  When she would leave me some guy would find his way over and strike up a conversation.  So as a friendly girl I would chat them up, always keeping a flirtatious eye on L.  So at one point, L gets his tamborine out and asks a girl from the audience to come up and play it.  He asks her waht her name is and she says P (my name)- to which he laughs and replays "really I'm in love with a girl named P" and winks at me.  So then a bit later another guy comes over and talks to me and now he's getting a little jealous and says "hey guys, do I need to stop singing early and walk off this stage so you'll all stop talking to my girl".  Or something like that, he said it nice and fun so it was taken more jokingly.  One guy said "hey buddy your lose is our gain".  Again, I was loving it.  So they did quit a little early and while his band mates were packing up he came over and gave me the attention I needed!  I was worried about his band mates not thinking it was cool that I showed up (since hes still married and all- oh yea and me too) but he didnt seem to care as he came over, sat facing me, pulled me onto his lap and started making out with me.  The guys behind us were like- that's hot, wanna share, to which he replied- in your dreams, lol!
We moved our little party outside where he found a dark little corner pushed me into the the corner and just devoured me with his kisses.  Have I mentioned that he is a big guy.  Like used to be a semi professional wrestler big guy.  He is the only big guy I've ever been with and there is something so sexy about the way he towers over and controls my movements.  I could feel his hard swollen cock up against me and I wanted it so bad.  It didn't take him long before his fingers found their way up my skirt and into my very wet pussy.  I wanted him so bad!  I told him he should just pull his cock out and fuck me right there.  He didn't think that was a good idea.  I thought it was a great idea!  I said lets go in your car- but a few of his band mates were riding with him and they were pretty much done and waiting for us at this point.  I was so wet and horny and he wouldn't stop rubbing my clit and sliding his fingers in and out of my pussy so I said if you don't fuck me now I'm going to cum all over your hand which of course just made him work harder and within a minute he had me cumming in his hand!  He took his hand out and started to lick his fingers clean but of course saved just one for me to suck clean!  I offered to return the favor but he said no- he would wait until he saw me next time and could fuck me good and proper!
I was disappointed but that was his decision. So he walked me to my car where my friend was waiting, kissed me goodbye & we went our separate ways. All was good. We laughed and giggled the whole way home & of course since I didn't get all I wanted I woke hubby up with my mouth on his cock & got my seconds for the evening. I know I'm such a whore!!

Funny last thing. On the way home that night my GF asked why I liked L.
She's knows he's not my typical type. She liked him to but she was curious. So I told her several things I liked about him including that thus far we've been very low maintenance together & I like that. Interesting enough she said yeah until now. I asked her why & she said cause you went to see him tonight & now he's going to like you even more & want you more. I thought naw... It will be fine.
Well she may have been right? More to come on L soon!

What's Good for the Goose IS NOT Good for this Gander!

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Sex is everywhere!

Before I get to the good stuff I need to just vent....

I think I mentioned that at the beginning of this year I took a new job.  I have not worked a full time job since I had kids over 8 years ago.  I have always worked part time, some of the time I worked two part time jobs and also helped out with our business and volunteered in the kids classrooms, and whatever else was needed of me.  I have always stayed busy!  I loved this life as it allowed me more freedom for MY ADVENTURES!  When I took this job it was because it was time.  I wasn't sure where my marriage was and I wanted to have security to take care of myself if we broke up, I was tired of struggling all winter long, I wanted better benefits for our family, etc.  It was a good move!  I am lucky that for someone who was out of the mainstream work force for as long as I was that I was able to land such an awesome job!  I have done very well since I've been here.  It is sales and this is what I did before I had kids!  However, at first I thought that the travel would be so great and at first it was great.  Considering how bad it was at home I was happy to be away and the break from my kids was almost nice as well!  This wore off quick!  Now, I just miss my kids like crazy, and even though I've had a few visitors in my travels, and had some fun I'd just as soon be home and find time for my fun here!

Okay, now that I've said that lets get to the sex is everywhere part!

So being away from home gives me more time to talk, text, take pics/videos, and/or potentially spend time with lovers!  So far since I started my job in January I have stayed the night at R's on one of my trips.  We actually didn't fool around, I stayed at his house (in the guest room), and we went out on the town and partied like college kids.  It was a blast!  After the fact of course I found out that he wanted me to sneak in his room so we could fuck like crazy but I'm not a mind reader, I was really drunk and I didn't get any signals from him!  So maybe next time (which might be next week as I'm going that way, lol).

I had another friend join me on another trip- JJ, he was supposed to stay with me two nights but ended up just spending the one night with me.  It was fun,  as soon as we got into the room of course we were all over each other and he is a super fun lover, we also went out for a nice dinner, and then went back to my room for some more fun!  I find it strange sometimes sleeping with other men.  I would almost prefer that they leave (I know that sounds weird) and there are only a few that I would actually choose to sleep with!  Anyway, he wasn't so bad to sleep with.

Then, recently I had D surprise me on a trip and he drove 1 1/2 hours north to hang out with me.  He has money, lots of it and he likes to flash it.  So he took me out, we went to the local pub- he likes to drink as well.  He is super fun though and everyone loves to be around him!  We partied with the locals, had a blast, got drunk, then he left a huge tip for the guys, which of course they thought was a mistake and couldn't get over.  It was cute, and also nice to be with someone generous!  Anyway, we went  back to my room and he is a friggin stallion and fucked me deep into the mattress but like a good man, he went home for the night, lol!  Only after I made him cum in my mouth!  Which since he is a total control freak, he hates.  He likes to be in control of everything!  However, when I put his cock in my mouth, he loses all control and I get to take over, and he can't tell me no and I always get my reward!!  Hehe!  Also, about D- I"ve been reading the Fifty Shades of Grey series (that's another post entirely).  He is my Christian!  Or I'd like for him to be my Christian!  When I'm reading I imagine that it is he and I!

Lastly, and one I almost am embarrassed to write about was one of my last trips where I decided to give N or dick head another chance.  So I let him travel up to meet me at one of my last northern expeditions.  I also allowed him to convince me to stay an extra day so we would have more time together.  I should have known better, he's to young, to in mature, drinks to much, etc.  But he begged (literally) and I allowed!  The first part started off good.  We went to dinner, had a few drinks, good conversation.  I made him tell me about why he was so adamant about us hanging out again, especially since he now has a girlfriend he really cares about.  He said it was the best sex he'd ever had and he wanted that again.  See the thing about him is that he is not a great lover- AT ALL!  He simply has a really big cock!  I told him I"m only as good as the person I'm with (well depends).  I also told him that if he gave me the chance I could make him an amazing lover.  He just needed a little direction and with a cock like that I could turn him into the BEST!  He is not a good listener you see!  Long story short, the sex was good when he laid there like a good boy and let my hop on top and do my thing.  Other than that he simply sucks and is NOT a good person, lover, human, etc.

The second day, while I worked he slept all day, we again went out that evening and I could tell he was getting into dick head mode, and then we started butting heads.By the time we got back to the room, we were hardly talking.  I read my book all night, he fell asleep.  When I got up the next morning I immediately got up and started getting ready, and packing.  When he finally woke up he actually said "are you ready to get bent over" to which I replied "nope I'm good, all set... I'm leaving, your lucky I allowed you to sleep here for the night, when I get back from breakfast I expect you to be either packed and gone or almost ready to leave".  I then went to breakfast, and when I got back he was just about ready to leave so I packed up and told him to shut the door on his way out.  I waited across the street to make sure that he left and he did.  I can promise you that will be the last we will hear from N!!

So on my trip this week I was again, far north!  I decided to go out Tuesday night after I got up there and settled into my room.  I asked where was a good place and decided on the local pub/restaurant.  I typically sit at the bar since I'm by myself.  I ordered a micro brew, some dinner, and then talked on the phone for awhile with a friend while I drank my beer.  After I got off the phone, the bartender and another guy started razzing me about being on the phone.  So we all started talking and then a local girl came into the bar and we all started talking.  Then the hubby called and was not pleased that I was still hanging at a bar, told me to go home and to call him when I got home.  Well I planned to go home right after my beer, but then the local girl convinced me to have another with her.  So I did.  Then another couple came into the bar and we all started talking.  So then the local girl leaves- the bar tender and I start talking Fifty Shades, he's telling me about his girlfriend of 6 years that is married, and starts showing me all these dirty pics of them on his phone.  I start telling him of my lovers, and show him a few pics.  Then the couple at the bar, convinces me to stay and buys me another beer.  Then me and the girl from the couple do a shot together.  Now, ti's getting late, I've had 4 large beers, a huge shot, and I'm dancing, with the girl.  She is backing up into me and running her hands up my legs.  The guy behind the bar is grinning from ear to ear.  The boy of the couple is grinning from ear to ear and then we do another shot.  Then, the guy goes to the bathroom and she turns around and starts kissing me.  Holy, hell, what am I doing!  So I go to the bathroom.  When I come back the bartender leans over and says that while I was gone they were discussing a 3 some.  He was nervous but she was all about it.  They ask me if I want to go for a walk with them down the beach.  To which I say I think I had better just go back to my room, since I have an early morning appt.  He seemed okay with that but she was adamant that I go for a walk.  He leaves again, and now she's in my ear, begging me to go, talking about licking my pussy, how much fun we will have.  She kisses me again.  HELL!!

So bottom line is that I know I'm not going!  Not because I don't want to- they were both HOT!  Because I have herpes!  No matter what, this is always in the back of my mind.  I am safe with all of my boys, we all have the same thing in common.  This is uncharted territory for me now.  I no longer have the ability to just go have casual sex without always wondering in the back of my mind if I could potentially give this to someone!  The funny thing is that statistically speaking one of them probably has it too!

Anyway, I again said no- I think he was the most sober and could tell I didn't want to or something cause he got her out of there pretty quick after that!  Now, the bartender can't figure out why I didn't go?  He I think was just waiting for me to invite him back to my place as I think he thought we were going to fuck because we shared some dirty pics.  We did not!  However, I apparently gave him my number because he texted me several times the next day to see if I was going out anywhere.  I did not!  I was wrecked the next day and happy to make it through the day alive!  I stayed in and rested and read my Fifty Shades- book 3 like a good girl!  I can avoid trouble one night but I'm not sure I would have made it two nights without some kind of trouble finding me, lol!!

So the funny thing is that in my stupidity, I called my hubby at 2am... duh!  The next morning I told him these stories about the bartender and the 3some.  Why?  Well other than because I'm an idiot I'm not sure.  Maybe to make him jealous? which he was/and mad!  To be honest?  Maybe a little!  So he could see yet again, that if he doesn't give me the attention I will find it somewhere?  His remark- if I sat in a bar and drank and flirted like that you would be so pissed at me- YES I WOULD!  He also commented that even if he had those kind of things would never happen to him- PROBABLY NOT!  Why is that I wonder?

Maybe we can talk more about all of this in my next post!  Why do I live by such a double standard of what's good for the goose isn't good for the gander!?!?  But sex is EVERYWHERE!!

Wow, almost another year has past!

It is amazing me to that almost a year could past and I come on here all the time to read blogs but never take the time to write!  The last year of my life has been filled with so many things I wouldn't even begin to know where to go with it.  I would never try to update everything but here is what I will do cause I would very much like to continue writing again... I think it could be therapeutic!
I am certainly somewhat of a whore!  This is a word that I have bonded with in the past year!
Quick re-cap
June 2011: Had horrible sex with my husband 1x
Broke what kinda had started with M off, (he had a teeny weeny and it wasn't going anywhere)
Started to see J a little on the side- quick side note- he does not have herpes so our relationship has been somewhat limited but nonetheless fulfilling!
Re-discovered the Positive Singles site and put up a fabulous posting as a married lady looking for a lover!
Started rifling through some serious male companion possibilities.

July:
Very busy month with friends, family, kids... however, went on a fun boat ride for the day with a new potential friend... fooled around a little but he was somewhat uninteresting and a little weird!
Met the Fireman!!  Ohh baby he was HOT!  He is the first man I EVER had limited conversation with but had the guts to meet in a hotel room (he even told me what to wear).  I walked in, he was naked and gorgeous and we fucked for hours!  He made me feel like the ultimate dirty little slut and I loved every moment of it.   This ignited something in me that had been missing for quite some time and for the first time in a long time I was ALIVE!  He lives out of state and although we have chatted a few times that is the only time we ever fucked!

August:
Busy family month... continued to chat with several new male possibilities.. even one Dom out in California.  He was fun but kinda hard when your that far away.  I spent some time having fun with J.  He also likes to tell me what to do, and I enjoy doing it!  Since he is married and we typically play on his lunch break we are very limited but again, I adore him and we have great fun together!  I don't think I met anyone else this month.
Also had horrible sex again with the hubby!  This is not good!

September:
Kids go back to school, I start working a little more and I begin talking with V- single, roofer, gorgeous, writes me poetry and says all the right things.  We begin a very intense affair and for the first time in a very long time I have serious feelings for someone.  Looking back I realize that I was so alone and he simply said all the right things.  He loved me quickly and let me love him.  We both needed that.  When he started asking me about being his and leaving my family I got scared, he met someone else, he broke my heart.... it was tough but alas it was all for the better.... they now have a new baby together and I believe he is happy!
Hubby and I decide to start marital counseling to attempt to save the marriage.

October:
I have a rebound affair with a man(actually boy) - N- who has the largest cock I have ever experienced.  He turns out to be a horrible lover (just cause your blessed means NOTHING) and to top it off he is a horrible human being although our first few times were great (again I was rebounding from broken heart).  It took me awhile to figure out just how horrible of a person he was... I was clouded by sitting on his fabulously huge cock... what can I say!
Hubby and I continue to see a worthless counselor and it is going nowhere!  We also attempt to have sex again, I'm drunk, he can't keep it up, i fall apart, it was truly horrible!

November:
I meet HIM!  C... we will call him my Don Wan... quick insight.  He is pretty much a single dad of three kids... hard worker, has a girlfriend who lives out of state.  He cares very much for her but sexually is not satisfied, reads my profile, thinks we might be compatible so we start chatting and quickly realize we have a lot in common!
The first time we are together there is an electricity between us that I have never experienced in my entire life. It's as if we both know exactly where to touch each other and what to do to make the other person just fall to pieces in orgasm.  I have never had a man IN MY LIFE, put so much effort into making me cum- repeatedly.  Nor, who can make me cum as much or as hard as him!  He is the BEST lover I have ever had.
Our affair become very intense, very fast!  Thank goodness we do not get to see each other very often and do not live very close.
I start looking for a new job and find one I want and pursue it with vigor!

December:
I GET THE JOB!  Great job, lots of in state travel.  Great beni's!  Great everything!
We decide to put counseling on hold as it's not doing us much good, and the holidays are approaching and I'm about to start new job and will be very busy!
This is the first full time job I will have had in over 8 years so I'm very nervous but also excited for new opportunities!
Continue to see Don Wan, but not over the holidays!
Also talk with a new gentleman and meet for drinks- D- he is married, very wealthy, older, intimidating, and fun!  I cannot resist but have sex with him- it is fabulous, we do not talk often!

January 2012: Happy New Year!
Start new job, very busy traveling!  LOVE IT!
Start also talking with JJ- lives in different state but one I sometime travel to.  He has a girlfriend, we begin more of a once a week telephone friendship as we have H in common and he is a great person, we do occasionally have a little fun phone sex!
Continue my relationship (as it's becoming) with Don Wan.... Start to develop some kind of feelings for him but am probably just clouded by the amazing sex!
End of the month, less than one month into new job, hubby tells me he thinks we should separate in hopes of still being able to be friends!
He also turned 50 and as I soon discover is embarking on a full fledged mid life crisis!

FEB-MARCH-APRIL- PRESENT:
These past few months become somewhat of a blur so lets just say...
Work:
My job is great and I'm very good at it and place top in the company for a few things and take a great trip to Florida for a conference in March.
Men in my life:  they pretty much all think they are my one and only!
It's getting a little out of hand!  I still see J on occasion for some lunchtime fun!  He is one of my favs and if we could have actual sex I might stick with just him.. he's married which is safe, he's cute, dominating, kind, eager to please, loves to give oral and likes anal!  and again he's safe!  blah, blah
I finally meet JJ for an evening of fun- and he even spends a few nights with me when I travel to his state for a few nights.  We have a great friendship as well but are far apart and he needs to date woman that he can start a relationship with.  I believe he is starting to see someone!
I even see R as I'm traveling to his parts now, he lets me stay at his house, we do NOTHING, which is odd but seem to have managed a friendship out of this.  He takes me out on the town, we party like college kids, it's great!  I have missed him!  Later I find out that he secretly wished I had come and attacked him, lol!
I also start talking and end up meeting L- he is a big tattooed guy, going through a divorce and getting back in the scene and feels safe that I'm married.  He is totally not my normal type but he's cute, in a band, fun, and since I"m not petite (not big either) but not petite he makes me feel very sexy!  We did have great sex and really knows his stuff when he goes down!  I also liked that I made his legs shake when I sucked him!  It was cute.
Out of the blue- D recently gets in touch.  now he does stay somewhat in contact through occasional texts and emails.  He sends me the sweetest things to make sure I know he often thinks of me.  So anyway, out of the blue while I'm away on a trip he gets in touch and drives all the way to where I am to see me, takes me out on the town for an amazing night (he likes to spoil) and then he comes back and we have what I would say was pretty fucking amazing sex!  Recently as I've started reading the 50 shades series I would say he is the closest thing to my Grey!
Things with C (or Don Wan) have been up and down back and forth!  He is like my addiction... well as you can kinda sum, sex and men are my addiction but he is my heroin!  Without getting into to many details we have tried several times now to stop seeing each other but we cannot seem to stay away.  I'm pretty convinced that although I enjoy some sex with other men and I like all my men for different reasons he has ruined me!  I cannot stay away.  I seem to have somehow been able to learn to manage my feelings for him and maybe it's because things are stable at home-not sure but I could easily LOVE this man.  He is the only man I could say that I could potentially see myself with.  I think he could possibly make me happy, and maybe make me not cheat but that is not an option for either of us.  I recently stopped seeing him but neither of us could leave it alone and although I haven't seem him in a few weeks we have been planning a get together in the next few days or early next week.  He will easily suck me into his vortex I'm certain.  I don't want to get into the specifics right now but if I can keep up with writing I can assure you there will be much to unfold with him
Oh yes, and recently I saw N- lets just say he begged, and I thought I wanted that big fat cock- turns out burn me once- shame on me, burn me twice- shame on you!  I ended up kicking him out of my hotel room and promise we will not talk about him EVER again!
I also recently made a new friend- K- although we have only had drinks once.  He is interesting, eclectic, smart, and a cool mustache that I would love to feel in certain spots.  I think eventually something could happen but timing has not been good for us.
I think that is it but trust me, I know it's a little out of hand right now but I am who I am!  My best friend, who is also the only person who knows everything (except you Don, if you ever read this) said to me maybe it's time to thin out the Rolodex a bit.  I agree but easier said than done.  They all have a special place and until I get my personal life sorted out I'm happy with how it is right now!

Okay last but not least let's talk about the hubby:
During this time I start snooping into my husbands life to discover that he has been seriously cheating on me with just about everything with two legs and even some dirty chatting with men.  He is completely out of control and I do not have the ability to keep my mouth closed and all in all I tell him I know everything.  This is not good!  We have been through a lot in the past several months.  We started out heading toward divorce.. since we have discussed open marriage (not for me personally, as I'm a very jealous person), a don't ask, don't tell type situation, but I couldn't stop snooping, him threatening to have me arrested for my snooping, lots of threats, lots of meetings with attorneys, lots of discussion of making up, we started to have sex again, and it's been often good!
He knows of some of my affairs, I know of some of his.  I'm certain we both have many secrets... me much more than him!
Okay, so he has a serious porn addiction, I have a man addiction.  He wants in my world but I prefer to have my world be private!  I want him to only want me.  I don't necessarily believe that what's good for the goose is good for the gander!  I know that I can keep him sexually satisfied- I feel I"m the girl you cheat with, not the girl you cheat on!

What needs to be understood in order for me to continue to write is that ultimately all I have ever wanted is my husbands love and approval.  I have done almost everything he has ever wanted, in return I have asked him to choose me over porn!  He has not.  Over time I learned that I could get what he won't give me from others, thus my infidelities!
Still all I truly want is LOVE and AFFECTION & LOTS OF SEX!  I get the affection and sex from others but I guess I'm not getting the love really from anyone but sometimes all the sex and attention makes up for the lack of love, or at least temporarily!
I stay with him because we have this great life, great kids, I love his family, when we are getting along we have this great friendship and a ton of fun together.  I just simply want him to stop having a mid life, love me and only me so I can go back to taking care of him and our family and our lives (which is what I do best) and then I can scale back and only have fun with a few extra people as that's what I NEED!  but I will do so very privately as I always have and when the Love is back where I need it than I can also indulge him in a little of his kink so that he will not  need to cheat on me!

I know that since this is not elaborately written it doesn't make a ton of sense right now but hopefully as it continues and I can share bits of my life it will all start to make some sense and maybe by writing it down it will make a little more sense to me!  Not sure!
We recently have decided to try and make a go of it.  He did some pretty fucked up shit that I found out about and it seem the light may have gone off for him and he is scared I'm about to leave him and saying that he is ready to make some changes and get some counseling and try and make us better!  Only time will tell!
It's either going to be a great summer or a really hard, shitty summer but either way I'm hoping by the end I will either be healing my marriage or headed towards the single life!
Either one scares the shit out of me!

Okay so I need to finish some work!  I had a fun tryst with J yesterday, he came over on his lunch break and I let him fuck my face on my back deck in the hot sun!  It was HOT!
Hubby woke me up in the middle of the night and I swear I think we had dream anal sex!  It was HOT and my skin was all tingly and he was pulling my hair... fuck if that was a dream I'm going back to sleep!
I may see Don Wan tomorrow but I may actually make him wait another week!
Also, L is working out here on my side of town so I may see him before the end of the week.
So yes, I'm a whore- unpaid whore- but it's okay, I kinda like the ring of it some days!

Until next time......
Mrs. M

What's the big secret!!!

So my affair with the Traveler, whom we will now refer to as "R" because it's easier to write was the affair that made me spoiled!  It was very different than any other.  He made me feel amazing.  He was a friend, a lover, and he brought things out of me that I really liked.  We saw each other for almost a year very regularly.  We met through Ashley Madison, he traveled for work so whenever he would come into the area we would set up to meet, I would leave work early, we would usually have lunch or a few drinks and then head to his room.  It was never just a quickie.  It was hours of kissing, talking, fucking, touching and more fucking.  It was GREAT!  During this time he was going through a divorce and started dating.  I knew it would happen and that was fine.  I guess I didn't prepare myself for feeling sad though.  When he met someone he really liked I guess I realized that it wouldn't be me he would be making feel so special anymore.  It seems men don't know how to focus their attention on more than one woman at a time.  I didn't want to place second fiddle to another girlfriend.  I would to a wife (cause I'm the girlfriend), but to a girlfriend, NO.  New girlfriends are much more high maintenance and men need to impress them, and all that shit.  So like a grown up I said, Hey your great, you deserve to be happy, I will back off and you can fall in love like normal people do.  I knew he cared about me but he wanted to date, go out on dates, spend quality time together, etc and we both knew I would never be able to do that.  It was hard, I was sad, I cried but that was that... or so I thought.
Then about a month later I had a GYN appt. While I was there I told her that I had what I assumed was an ingrown hair that was really bothering me.  I have either shaved or waxed my pussy for most of my adult life and have cut myself, and had a few skin tags, and things of the sort but nothing quite like this (I think)!  So the OB takes a look and says well I don't think this is an ingrown hair it actually looks like Herpes.  I jumped up and said.  "I'm sorry did you just say Herpes"... she of course said yes... and in that moment my entire life changed!  She did the swap test and said she would call me with the results ASAP, we talked she told me a few things blah, blah and then I went out to my car and cried.  Cried hard cause I just knew the results would not be in my favor... I'm just not that lucky.  I immediately called my best friend, who is really the only person who knows pretty much everything about my life, and told her.  Together we started researching everything we could find on the Internet.  The pics online were no help at all because looked nothing like that.  It was just one little sore... one horribly painful, miserable little sore.  I decided that wouldn't say or do anything until I heard back from the OB.  In the meantime, coming from my religious upbringing, I went back to the basics.  I prayed long and hard.  I would never cheat again, I would quit smoking, doing anything sinful, I would be the best mom, wife, woman in the world just let it not be herpes!  I tried to write a blog post about it but couldn't bring myself to post it.  I had followers, friends, how shameful! 
So early the next week, while at work, the doctor called.  She said the HPV came back negative but I'm sorry the HSV came back positive.  You have HSV-2.  We talked, she told me all kinds of statistics, how it sheds when you don't even have an outbreak which is how most people get it, how to treat it, medications, blah, blah.  It was like I had an out of body experience... I could see myself sitting there listening to her talking to me but I couldn't speak.  Finally, we hung up, again I called the best friend, we cried together and then I knew I had to tell both the hubby and the boyfriend, well x. 
I decided to tell the boyfriend first, so I texted him that I needed to talk with him but would call him on my way home from work.  So I pulled into a parking lot, called him, and said that I had been to the OB last week, had what I thought was an ingrown hair, they did a swab test and called me today and told me I have herpes.  It probably was not that smooth and I'm pretty sure I was balling my eyes out as I told him.  He didn't say anything right away and then he said... well I don't have herpes.  I said are you sure?  He of course was sure but said he would get a blood test done right away.  I reminded him that I had not been with anyone since we stopped seeing each other and that other than him and the hubby hadn't been with anyone else in quite a long time.  Well, he was sweet and kind about it, but you could tell he felt bad for me.. I didn't like that at all.  I felt alone, and scared, and totally confused!!!!

I know it started with the herpes, then the first affair, then the second, then the last one.  I never quite gave him all of the information, but just enough.  He asked a lot of questions... some of them strange questions.  He was sad, then angry, then strangely turned on, then mad again, then confused.  He didn't understand with everything that we had done and gone though together why I didn't tell him I wanted to have sex with another man because he probably would have allowed me to as long as he could have been a part of it... but you see that isn't what I wanted.. I wanted to selfishly have a man to myself, to make me feel a way that he didn't make me feel... okay sorry, that's another post... anyway, we talked and cried for hours.  Then the next day we talked a little more but I could see he was just full of questions, and emotions and feelings I didn't know how to interpret.  The weird thing is that after I told him, he wanted to have sex with me all the time.  For like a week almost everyday.. and it was different, more passionate, connected... different.  So I went with it.  We talked everyday but mostly I assumed he would eventually retaliate.   So.. after all that he said he didn't have herpes, or at least to his knowledge... great so now what!
So the following week "R" gets in touch with me to tell me that his blood work came back and it doesn't look like he has herpes.  Of course he is totally relieved... feels bad for me, but is happy as he is sooo in love with his new girlfriend and would hate to have to explain that!  So I tell him about telling the hubby, he offers more condolences and tells me to keep in touch and keep him posted on everything and he will do the same (we pretty much stopped talking after that).  So now I am utterly alone... no boyfriend, my husband can hardly look at me, I have herpes but no idea how or why I have it.... then the depression starts to sink in.
I again tried to write a blog post but couldn't so instead I just delete the entire blog.. everything gone... I send a cryptic email to any and all friends/lovers that I had ever emailed with telling them I will be shutting down this email and to please stop emailing, texting, etc.  I decided that even though my prayers were not answered I would still shut that part of my world down and make the fantasy part of my world and life become dormant deep inside me where it belonged!  That was that... I spent all my free time doing research on my sickness, trying to understand, to make sense of it... I was trying, everyday to make my husband like me again, kissing his ass, trying to just focus all my attention on him and the kids, and work...
You know what I was completely miserable.  In every way!!! I was a mess... not a better mom, or wife, or friend or anything!  It just totally sucked and honestly I have no idea who that girl was!!!
So guess what..... I got an email in late July or early August from "R" saying he needed to talk with me.  So I called him... since we had last talked he and his other girlfriend had broke up but he was dating a new girl and they had gone away for the weekend... he had what he assumed was a cut from shaving on his penis but when he and the girlfriend came back from a weekend trip she had a nasty break out, they both went to the doctor and guess what, they both have herpes!  Well at this point I am a fucking expert so I tell him what I know.   That he could have had it all along and not known it, that some people have it for years and never have outbreaks, etc, etc.  We talk about it,  He wants to know what's happening with me, if my husband has it.  I tell him that he still hasn't been tested but has never had an outbreak (OB) to his knowledge and that there is a small percentage of people who are actually immune to it.  I will tell you that I am not happy he has it, but it made me feel a little bit better.  So here's the deal.  There is no blame going on here. I cannot help but assume he gave it to me... I'm pretty sure he assumes I gave it to him... neither of us know for sure and we are both adults that chose to have unprotected sex with one another and guess what folks... these are the consequences that you can face when you do those things!  So we move on.  I will delve more into what has happened since then but let me just say this for now.  I now know it's not a death sentence.  It really doesn't change who I am, or want to be.  It doesn't make me a bed person, or a dirty person.  1 out of 4 Americans have HSV, most don't know it because they either don't have very many OB's if at all, or they think it's something like an ingrown hair or something else.  It is what it is, I have it, it's mine forever.  I control it, I educate myself, and I do my best to keep it under control, which has not been easy but is getting easier.  So that is it, my big secret, my sabbatical.  Now I can go on, talk about everything that has happened, that is happening and just simply keep moving forward!